Do you have a little voice in your head that says nasty things to you and makes you feel like dirt? I do. Let’s call my guy Warvier (a la Wario). He’s a real jerk and he knows all the best buttons to push. He doesn’t come around often, and most of the time I’m pretty good at ignoring him.
Last time he came around, I put him to work. I provided the music and he provided the lyrics. This is the song we wrote together. With a little separation I think it’s a funny (if not biting) song. I get the line “You’ve got your shoes untied and mustard on your sleeve” stuck in my head pretty often.
Paging Mr. Incorrigible
There's a pot of trouble here That’s constantly brewing We can’t have nice things ‘Cause you don’t know What your doing Put the cat back in the bag Hoist up the off-white flag You can always quit while You’re ahead! You’re setting booby traps Everywhere you tread The lightbulbs will explode Mere inches from your head Put Napoleon in his place Throw tomatoes in his face! You’ll regret it if he ever Learns how to win! You’ve got your shoes untied And mustard on your sleeve You’d mess up suicide You jay-walking pet peeve Time to pack your garbage bags And collect your thrift store rags You don’t have to stay home But you can’t be here!